Letters That I'll Never Send: Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self,

            By the time you read this, I hope that your kids are off to college and that you're enjoying the business
I helped putting up with. Did we do the internet cafe/book store/ study lounge dream come true yet? If not, I suggest you better get a hold of your cousin Joy and ask her on how to become the official distributor of Garibaldi Arts in the Philippines. Or at least an official reseller if not the distributor. Running out of ideas? You should try taking cooking lessons, you know how to read instructions, I just wonder whether you have a great palate - I know you love to eat. Are you still fat? If you've become rich, you should have that liposuction we have been internally eternally arguing about. Your kids might be ashamed of you already. But you're a diabetic and forever will be, so ask your doctor first.
            How's your husband? Are you taking good care of him? You should, you know. He might find his ex and marry her then where will you be??? Kidding aside, I know he's good to you but take care of him and never take him for granted. Unspoil your kids or at least warn their grandma from spoiling them. By now, they should have toured the Philippines and seen Hongkong Disneyland already. Ok?
             This letter's too long for my own comfort. See you when I read you.